It’s sometimes difficult to keep being a TCK from being your excuse.
I think it’s just human nature to want to be the exception. We desire to stand out, rise above and fight against the current. Whether coming from a desire to better yourself, achieve great things or just keep your head above the water, we all have this general feeling that we can’t settle for average. As soon as a person can claim they have lived in another country or speak another language (especially fluently), they automatically stand out. Suddenly, everyone wishes to hear about an experience that varied drastically from their own. They ask questions, gasp, and have a face of bewilderment plastered to their face.
Once this fact is known, you’re special. You have unique insights. You have a connection at the local Chinese restaurants.
While people knowing this fact about you can help others understand you more, it can also become an easy excuse.
“Oh, I don’t recognize that. Guess we didn’t have it where I grew up.”
“You wouldn’t understand what I’m going through. You’re not a TCK.”
“I’m not good at making close friendships. All the friends I’ve ever made have moved away after a few years.”
There is an endless list of lines we can use to get out of something.
But having been enriched with the privilege of growing up overseas should never distance you from others, but instead give you a more in-depth understanding of people and how different life experiences create diversity. Instead of using our experiences to separate ourselves from others, we should use it to draw others in. Standing out should come from what we chose to do with the characteristics being a TCK has given us, and not just give us a cop out answer when we have to give an interesting fact about ourselves.
My challenge for myself is to come up with a list of characteristics which make me who I am, without putting down the words “China” or “TCK”. China helped shape me into who I am, but I am so much more. No more excuses. It’s time to own up to what I’m made of, and not where I’ve lived.
再见, 亲爱的
