One of the downsides of having such a cleverly specific name to a blog appears to be the hesitation of being unwilling to blog about anything unrelated. Either I'll get over it, or it will take another nine months for me to post again. I suppose we shall all see.
I am slowly learning I will never be able to let go of China. People would ask me all the time if I planned on moving back to China and my answer was always no. Psychology is my passion and psychology, in English, tends to be easiest to find a job in English speaking countries. Chinese has basically been seeping out of my brain word by word due to it's lack of use.
Surprise!
My suitmate was switched last minute and to my pleasant surprise, my suitmate is now a Chinese freshmen.
Friday was my first day of high school observations for the semester and to my pleasant surprise, a Chinese exchange student from Beijing was also experiencing his first day at Walker Valley.
My fiance and I have been discussing what to do after graduation. Our plans currently include this: do something exciting for two years before hitting the books again. Exciting place, exciting food, exciting experiences, exciting challenges, closet size apartment and any job that will start paying off student loans. Surprise! Fiance has been bringing up China a lot. Between connections I already have in China and the connections we've made at school, it wouldn't be hard; and it will be a great adventure. Which is all we're looking for - adventure.
On top of this, I had let go of teaching Psychology at a high school. Sadly, no one wants to hire just a Psychology teacher. Instead, they let the coaches teach it.
Last week, one of the professors told me about how it would be possible to get licensed to teach Chinese at a high school level by only taking a few classes and then take the Praxis in it. Being licensed to teach Chinese would make me more valuable to a high school - even if they are two random classes not always taught. This would greatly increase the probability of me getting a job as a high school teacher.
Currently, plans are a swirling mess or confusion hovering above my head. It's not overwhelming and it's not oppressive. It's just there. Every time I think I know where life is headed, something else shows up and makes me question everything I've put in the unavailable box.
God, you've left my heart seeking and questioning and I pray for the strength to keep options open. I have a Beijing sized hole in my heart and I am waiting to figure out how it will fill up.
Just remember Sara, as those plans are swirling above your head, that 30 years ago both your parents probably had those same questions. They probably never dreamed that some day they would be packing up their young family and moving across the world. By being faithful to their calling, they began a jouney that would bring them blessing beyond measure. AND, a beautiful young girl grew up in a foreign land, and learned a foreign language and that foreign place became familiar and became home. What I'm getting at, let those questions and plans just "be there" as you said. Enjoy the life you have today and trust ~ God indeed will fill that big heart of yours!
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